Re-connection – I always put this first on the checklist but it’s usually the last thing that happens.

FREEING
We can be our own biggest – I hate to say enemy – let’s go with roadblock. Sometimes we’re the biggest thing standing in the way of stuck to unstoppable, or keeping us firmly stuck in the mud, so to speak.

Sometimes we can get so caught up on the what ifs and going down rabbit holes of dread, worry and anxiety –

Sometimes we need to free ourself from ourself. 
Sometime we need to give ourself a moment to re-group.
Sometimes we need to let ourself start from today.

FORGIVENESS
Sometimes freeing yourself starts with forgiving yourself.
Sometimes you need to forgive yourself before you can move forward.

You’re human. You’ve made mistakes, probably quite a few of them, a lot of them, and I’m guessing some of them have been big ones that you’re probably still holding onto. It’s important that we learn from our mistakes, but we don’t have to hold onto them for forever.

Sometimes part of the learning process is forgiving ourself.

We have been fed a lot of bullshit in our lives. It is what it is. From that, we have accepted and been conditioned, whether it be by society, family, ourselves – whomever – this is where we figure out what’s true and what’s not – 

This is a big one – write them down and disprove them.

• Releasing and forgiving yourself for the baggage of the past.
• Releasing experience that we feel have (up until now) defined us.
• Releasing yourself from anxiety and fear that may have been holding you back. 
• Releasing yourself from the expectations, opinions and judgement of others.
• Releasing yourself from roles assigned to you, or put on you, by others.
• Releasing yourself from the constructs of society, embracing your inner misfit.
• Releasing anything that you have no control of.

This is where we literally + figuratively clean out the clutter.

To me, clutter is anything that bocks thinking, anything that blocks positive energy, anything that distracts us from moving forward.

SOCIAL MEDIA
I keep thinking about social media for this one, it’s so important when we’re on a growth-path, even just our daily-good-human path,  that we surround ourself with and absorb goodness and positivity, things that parallels our (new) path.

Go through your social media and clean out the gunk.  Unfollow anyone or anything that doesn’t make you feel good, or that gives you a twinge of spite. Unfollow people you followed for the wrong reason, ie to show them up, rather than support them.

It’s so important for women to support other women. Our society has created a “mean girl” culture – for real – there’s even a new show on TV called Mean Girl Murders. 

Having raised a daughter, I never understood why certain things were just expected and excused, like “mean girls”.

PODCASTS, TV + MOVIES
Do the same thing with anything else you listen to or watch. If you get stuck on knowing what to clean out, go for “goodness”, does it make you feel good? In an honest to goodness way – not a good “bad” way.

If you come to something not so good that you’re not ready to pull the plug on, ask yourself why and make a note of it in your journal.

HOME
Do you have piles of clutter around your house, laundry to do or a sink full of dishes?

Start with one thing, do it, then do another.

Do you have a catch all drawer that you have to slam shut or a cabinet that doesn’t close all the way?

Clean out one, then the other.

Start chipping away a little bit at a time.

If I’m not paying attention to my feelings, I can tell I’m struggling with something when the dishes and laundry pile up.

PEOPLE
This one can be difficult, for a number of reasons, sometimes we just have to let go of people who don’t make us feel good.

Go through your list of humans.

Are you drawing a blank as to an actual list? We all have a list, with varying degrees of separation, but each person on that list has a positive or negative affect or impact on us. Me for example, I’m going to be on your list, with a certain degree of separation compared to other people, but am I having a positive or negative affect of impact? (Hopefully positive). 

You’ll notice I’m saying people, not relationships, we’re going to get into those later on.

Write out your list, and the varying degree of separation of each person if you’d like to, then positive or negative, you can write out why too if you’d like.

Sometimes the way we communicate with people determines how they communicate with us, if you recognize that to be the issue, fix it.

If you notice yourself having been a negative nelly, with certain people, that says a lot as to the attachment we have with them, make a mental note and an effort to be communicate with them more positively. If it’s always all about you, make an effort to make it about other people sometimes.

Sometimes it actually is the person, and sometimes doing some spring cleaning of people is to your benefit. 

Visualization is a powerful tool that you can use to help hammer in your feelings. We’re going to really get into feelings next, but I think visualizing is super-important and powerful, so here we are.

Visualization is a very powerful too when manifesting. Not the point of this discussion, but it is. If you are worrying about something and you keep visualizing it, it may end up happening. But if you stop visualizing “it” and instead visualize something good, it will definitely be in your benefit.

**I’m skirting around the whole manifestation thing, that’s a whole nother program, but I’m trying to make a point.

When you visualize sunshine and happy things, you feel better than when you visual gloom and darkness – right?

Most of you will say yes.

So, for example, visualize your partner walking in the room, smiling and looking all cute and sexy, you can’t help but smile. Then visualize him hugging and kissing you, like you’re watching it happen right in front of you and you get all sorts of yummy feelings.

Here’s another example, you have a job interview coming up, visualize it – visualize the environment, watch yourself walk in like a boss, you’re confident, you’re happy to be there and you know you’re the candidate for the job.

This is not to say that visualizing something is going to make it so, it’s s 

The feelings are the really important part because they are driving in our being as humans.

Visualizing helps train your brain to see and hear a successful outcome.

Studies of the brain have revealed that thoughts produce the same metal instuctions as actions.

Visualizations impact cognitive processes such as motor control, attention, perception, planning and memory.

Basically the brain is training for the actual “thing” during visualization, which has been found to enhance motivation (positivity), confidence, self-efficacy as well as improving motor performance and basically priming your brain for success.

I separate this one because there can be a lot of dysmorphia when it comes to how we see ourself.

Dysmorphia first appeared in the Histories of Herodotus, referring to the myth of the “ugliest girl in Sparta”.

If you Google dysmorphia everything that comes up is related to “body dysmorphic disorder”, but I believe the word itself can actually be applied to a broader scope, ie how we see ourself in general, not just related to our bodies.

There have been times when I’ve stood in front of the mirror and thought, “Oh my, I need to work on this, tighten that,” then walk away not wanting to go out in public or not wanting to be seen. But then I’ll see myself on a video recording from that same day, and think, “Oh wow, it wasn’t as bad as I thought”.

This is where we practice seeing ourself – overall – in a more positive light.

⚡️ Something else to keep in mind, the way we present ourself to the world begins with how we see ourself.

If making physical changes is a big part of what you want to do for your reinvention, the physical changes will not happen without doing the inner work first. You cannot truly change how you present yourself to the world without first changing how you see yourself.

Now it’s time for feelings + thoughts + emotions

There are different schools of thought on this, as to which comes first, the chicken or the egg??

PSYCHOLOGICAL
The psychological opinion is that feelings cause thought.

Thoughts are essentially how we deal with feelings.

For example, if we have feelings related to a past trauma, our thoughts today are simply trying to make sense of it.

In 1884 American Psychologist William James asked the question, what are emotions?

Emotions are often confused with feelings and moods, but the three terms really shouldn’t be used interchangeably as they do not mean the same thing.

Some dictionaries even define emotions as feeling, which they – technically – are not.

Many researchers are still proposing theories about what actually makes up our emotions, while existing theories are constantly being challenged.

So what are they?

self-care