PATTERNS

Have you recognized patterns in your relationships? Have you thought you just attract a certain kind of man?

Most of us do have patterns, but here’s the thing, our outside world reflects what’s going on inside of us. If we get stuck in dysfunctional loops, we must have a dysfunctional loop going on inside for it to be reflected in our outside, or physical world.

For example, if we attract seemingly unavailable men, look  at yourself, are you available to you? Most likely not – so make a note to be aware of that.

Let’s look a little deeper:

• Are there behaviors that trigger certain feelings?
• What beliefs are you holding that support these continued patterns?
• Would you call these dysfunctional patterns?
• Do you want these patterns to continue? Is anything positive coming from the dysfunctional patterns?

As you’re able to notice patterns, you can release them – let them go. You can use the flipping the switch visualization for this too,.

Now that you’ve identified some patterns, let’s clear some space – get rid of the fear, hurt, dysfunction, etc. – and make room for good stuff!! 

• First things first – forgive yourself for the patterns you’ve recognized. You may not have been aware of them previously or where they came from, but now that you’re acknowledging them, you can choose to release them.
• When you clear out your inner sh*t, it gives others more space to show up.

For example, if one of your patterns is to get clingy and needy when something feels a little off, then he pulls away and you get even more clingy, needy and scared so you pull away. Nothing good can ever come of this.

• When something like this happens just stop. Flip the off switch (See day 2). Stop thinking, stop ruminating. Just stop.
  This loop can be super-scary, trust me, I’ve been there. You don’t have to change how you feel just stop the negative thoughts – you don’t have to change them. Listen to me closely – you don’t have to change what you’re thinking, just stop thinking it and start thinking positive, loving thoughts. When you switch your thoughts to positive and loving it takes all of the power away from the negative. 
• Love yourself. “Send” him love.
• Be thankful for you. “Send” him gratitude.
• Forgive yourself. “Send” him forgiveness.
• Give yourself compassion. “Send’ him compassion.
• Give yourself understanding. “Send” him understanding.
• Release the fear you’re having. Release any pressure you’ve inadvertently put on him.

If you’re new to the concept of energy, “sending” feelings may feel a little strange. But I promise you, it’s real and it works.

• All you have to do is say in your mind and feel in your core, “I send him love, I send him compassion and understanding”. Make sure that you’re actively loving you and giving yourself compassion and understanding too. 
• The trick is to feel all of this, you’ll be feeling it and therefore attracting it.

PATTERNS

Now that you’ve become aware of the concept of mirroring, reflecting and attracting, let’s look for patterns.

• Do you remember yourself ever saying something like, “I just seem to attract that type of guy?” Now you know that it’s not actually the guy, right?. If you can look back and see a pattern of the same type of “guy”, you know now that they’re reflecting something in you, that’s what you’re attracting.
• What about “emotionally unavailable” men… I’m sorry to say that’s not the guy either – that means you are not emotionally available to you.
• Let’s look at dysfunctional loops while we’re at it maybe even loops within your current relationship where you do something that triggers something, he does something that trigger something else, maybe this makes you feel like you’re just not good at love. If that’s what you’re thinking, you’re holding on to something that’s making you believe it – disprove it – is that belief actually true? Chances are, it’s not.